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 "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1

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"Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 Empty
PostSubject: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyThu 26 Jul 2007, 2:30 am

The soft rain pelted Yamada like nails falling on his skin,his Kusari gama(its a scyth with a short hilt and has a long iro chain conected to it with a wieght at the end) was driping the blood of the fallen samurai at his feet. The bambo grove around him was in a state of silence ,the silence of death. He stood up and looted the boody of the young samurai, while he was looting the body he found that he had been converted to christ seeing as how he had a cross around his neck. He payed his respects and left. The young samurai was wise to lead him into the grove were the samurai had taken advantion to the Kusari-gama master weakness of needing large areas to swing his chain and entangel his oppentet, while at a tactical loss he still had far more skill at combat while the young samurai lacked the needed skill to do any amount of dammage to the master , the fool had come to close with every clumsy swing,with every opening in his attack,and with every unbalenced step he fell like a fool, he was stripped of his power. For Yamada had entangled the young mans sword and threw it from the boy's sweaty fingers, the fool not knowing when to stop went into a pitiful rage of bloodlust, he removed the smaller of the daisho(means large and small reffering to the main sword and the wakizashi/tanto) the wakizashi and his left arm fell to the floor in 1 frail swoop. Once realizing he had lost he preformed hara-kiri (;, "cutting the belly"), right before this moment he askedd yamada for writing utensells for his death poem not being able to read and write him self despite the fact he was of samurai desent,he denied the samurai of 1 last wish shaming the samurai worse and then despite his loyalty to christ he commited the ritual suicid. Yamada was 3 miles south east from osaka were his brother and pupil were making there landing on the docks. He would be impressed if they had become more evil like him. Yamada was a man united by hatered and it showed everywhere in his actions in his apperance. He was know to be the man with white hair and and his left pupl took the form of a cross with his red eye. He was known as the shaningami.


Last edited by on Thu 26 Jul 2007, 10:01 pm; edited 3 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyThu 26 Jul 2007, 3:30 am

poor samurai cut down in the prime of life with some wepon that makes no sense and then looted lol (it was good)
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"Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 Empty
PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyThu 26 Jul 2007, 5:12 am

yondaime wrote:
poor samurai cut down in the prime of life with some wepon that makes no sense and then looted lol (it was good)
sry to confuse u lol heres a pic"Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 Kusarigamamt6


Last edited by on Fri 27 Jul 2007, 3:12 am; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyThu 26 Jul 2007, 9:57 am

great start sounds very good you could go some where with that my friend, and sasuke uses the same weapon in one of the anime episodes one of the early episodes. very good discriptive work should of said more of the area and surroundings even the weather to give the emotion of the situation. such as "the sky filled with gloomyness as another victim fell to blood lusting looter" or somethign like that Very Happy Shocked
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyThu 26 Jul 2007, 4:05 pm

ty man its the first story i made i was gonna addd allout more but im a lil lazy lol
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyThu 26 Jul 2007, 4:08 pm

yerr you shoulds seems to be comign along pretty well , will you please have a look at mine titled Above A Though. need to decide weather i should continue it to further on.
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PostSubject: chapter 2 "Masamune"   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyThu 26 Jul 2007, 7:00 pm

The sky was fighting its way through the clouds,Masamune checked the supplies and there exploding caskets,and made sure he had enough arrows for his bamboo yumi (longbow),this was a nessesity to be safe if they were attacked by pirates,yamada was supposed to be waiting for him at the dock the . He was finnaly in japan if any pirates attack the ship it would be a long time till they reached the docks ,but he felt confident ,muko the assain was with them the pirates would not could not win. The salty air was calming,... BOOM!!! The shot hit the boat on the starboard side, they were gaining water fast,Masamune knew that the pirates would come yet still he could not move from the shock,he stood there confused and looking parayliyzed. An arrow nearly missed his head. Everything went blank then out of his inner fear came the strenth of his inner bloodlust, he grabbed an arrow and pulled back with all his power aming at a man on the other boat he let go the arrow moved with a qiuckness and shot the man in the eye, blood sprayed and the man let out a deafining scream, and was silenced by the next arrow to his throat. The death toll raised on both sides of the conflict, muko fell with a teppo(rifle) blast mutilating his face and neck, Masamune was utterly shocked and bewildered. Then came the wave of fear it swept his body in fleet of anger and fear, if they had this fire power he fell to the ground in fear, they drifted closer to shore but they wouldnt make it,his last hope he went to they lower deck and found the helpless crew men all pointing weapons at him obiviosly they thought he was 1 of the invaders they lowered there weapons when they rembered him as 1 of the crew he saw 1 was smoking a long pipe he asked for the flame,the man went to another room but shook his headthe room were his flint was wet ultimatleyit was useless,Masamune not being able to think of another way to win took the mans lit pipe with and a exploding caskets he ran up to the main deck and began lighting the casket with the pipe they were going to win nothing would stop him ....,he felt seiring pain hit his side as a arrow punctured his flesh with the pain he dropped the pipe into the water and fell to the floor in a fit of hot pain. They had lost, nothing was going to stop the pirates, they drifted closer and he saw the docks were yamada was waiting in a small boat, then out of his eye site he almost didnt catch the movement it was so subtel but it was still there, a chain was chocking a pirate his commradeds didn't noticeas as the man fell , the next mans suffered the same fate after 3 men died of this , yamada aperead cutting with swiftness the men on the boat had no chance a red mist engulfed the boat . He heard screams of terror as there commrads blood added to the mist of red . When it was done yamda stood laughing covered in blood with a silver glint in his eye the eye of a shaningami(death god).


Last edited by on Thu 26 Jul 2007, 7:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyThu 26 Jul 2007, 7:02 pm

i like so far
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyThu 26 Jul 2007, 8:48 pm

are these two texts supposed to be together or are they both form different ideas?
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyThu 26 Jul 2007, 9:26 pm

there chapter 1 and chapter 2
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyThu 26 Jul 2007, 9:30 pm

orr cool helps me ubnderstand it alittle more now
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyThu 26 Jul 2007, 10:01 pm

i edited my first 1 to help allout
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyFri 27 Jul 2007, 1:47 am

chapter 3 Yamadas face was in an evil lunatict grin, then as sunndenly as it had apperead it was washed away with a disturbed look ,as though he had been gut like a fish. The bodys around his feet shared the same look but theres was horror of only the demon can cause. Masamune had a supprised look on his face then desened into darkness.He swung on a roap and landed on the defenders ship. "Pitiful" said yamada cruely "how is this my brother " he spat at the young mans feet obviuslty disappoined at his brothers weakness. For punishment he grabbed his incapacitated brotthers left hand and severed his pinki with one harsh look. the blood comeing from his brothers pinki was satisfing for a moment. Then he ripped apart of his cloack off and covered the wound. Yamada searched the boat for muko but could not see his familare face amoung the dead his search went way into 15 mins then recognized the curved sword, he looked at the man his face was muatalated. He looted his pupils body took all his silver and left the man was not even worthy of respects. Just then he saw a movement on the piratet ship he swung the roap again and landed on starboard side. Yamada look around the dead ship for any signs indcating life. There was a small movement and he walked to the place were he had seen it, it was a woman servent for the piratets trying to esacape the demon , he was close to stabing her but he heard a roar of anger and a loud "STOP" both people turned n the spot to were the voice came from, it was Masamun, "we may need her for the clan I know u sense she fits the reqiurments ,plus mukos dead". Yamada thought on this for a moment and hit her on the neck and she fell to the ground he picked her up and dumped her on the boat he used to get to the pirate ship, and jumped to the other side on the roap and picked up his brother and swung back and they boarded yamadas boat. "How many people do you intend to bring Masamune" said Yamada annoyed. "As much as it takes to reborn the clan" he said happily. "Then prepar for an army" Yamada said angerly. There was a pause and Masamune broke the silence "Thanks for the help" he said, "Fool do not think it was for affaction its onl;y because you are a tool in my plan i have no use for you are utterly expandeble it is only because uyou have are clans blood that i keep you here if not i would have killed you years ago" he said harshly.... tell me wut u think tell me wut u would like to hear next ,or if i should stop the storys.. ty
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyFri 27 Jul 2007, 7:54 am

this starting to really get along now you should keep it up (Y)
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyFri 27 Jul 2007, 8:22 am

thank you
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptySat 28 Jul 2007, 8:34 am

chapter 4 :the man with death in his eyes"flashback"
The silence was deafing between the two brothers, Yamada looked at his little brother ws a look of disgust as though the thing sitting across from him on the small boat was something vile and not to be touched, putting the thought out of his mind he thought of the samurai he had killled in the grove. The man was a fool of a diffrent sort he was battle smart yes but still a fool, he and his father and a band of followers were traveling samurai with a common goal, "to help men women and child from the people who seek to destroy them", the saying was foolish to Yamada it ment "to help those who are powerless to help themselves". Apperantly the group in wich the samurai was traveling in came across the villeage that was in a state of misery it seems that the villeage in a matter of days was going to be ravenged by the bandits in the mountains, the samurai were qiuck to aid them in there trouble and had gottten there in time before the bandits had blocked the entraces and exsits to the town so none could escape the slaughter of the doomed town, Yamada himself took logding in a cave just outside the pirameter of the villeage. Yamada had come to the villeage for some water and supplies ,and while he was at the merchant he heard a scream apperantly the bandits had sent there messengers Yamada stood by and watched as the villeage was painted in blood finnaly the attackers noticeted the man and went in for the kill Yamada was outnumbered 4 to 1, they were all armed with kantans exept for 1 with armed with a farmers sickle (no doubt he stole it from a victem) this man was the first to die. Yamada made his move with lightning speed in a matter of seconds the mans neck was broken with yamadas bare hands the next man with a slash to his somach the next died by the hands of his own sword as yamada entagled it in his chain and pulled out of the mans hand and caught it then stabted the man in the stomach. The last man ran but his speed was that of a fat ox walking, Yamada caught up within secounds and then head and body became disconnected and the mans head fell to the ground. The samurai come to aid the villeage he heard there horses within secounds . An eager samurai had mistook him for a bandit and ran towards him with hius sword in the air screamiing his battle cry, he stopted in fearasYamada stared at him. "I am not the filth that attackted this place samurai but if it is death you seek I will be happy to grant your reqest " Yamada said harshly and cut the mans belly open. He walked away with a smirk as the man died.
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyWed 01 Aug 2007, 4:10 am

ok im done with that lol im to lazy to finish the story. if u wanna hear more just tell me and ill write wut happens next
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Male Number of posts : 899
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"Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 Left_bar_bleue58/110"Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 Empty_bar_bleue  (58/110)
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"Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 Empty
PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptySat 11 Aug 2007, 9:23 am

Yeah this is very good. Nice work. It's good to see good lierature on teh forum. Let's see some more
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PostSubject: Re: "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1   "Yamada Shinryukan" chapter 1 EmptyMon 20 Aug 2007, 7:14 pm

This is a pretty good story and the installments. I enjoyed reading it very much =)
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